Cheese Weasel Day!

Dear Kraft Heinz Company Big Cheese,

I am writing to you as a loyal customer and a cheese fan. I want you to join me in celebrating a fun and unique holiday called Cheese Weasel Day.

Cheese Weasel Day is the only Internet holiday that honors the people who work in the tech industry. It is celebrated on April 3rd every year by leaving a slice of cheese under a tech worker’s keyboard or mouse pad. The legend says that the Cheese Weasel travels the world and delivers cheese to the good techie boys and girls.

This is a great way to show appreciation and gratitude to the people who make our technology work. Promoting your cheese products and connecting with customers who love cheese is also a great opportunity.

I would like to request you celebrate Cheese Weasel Day by:

• Sending a Cheese Weasel Day greeting card or email to your tech support team and other tech workers in your company.
• Posting about Cheese Weasel Day on your social media accounts and using the hashtags #cheeseweaselday and #CWD.
• Offering a special discount or coupon for your cheese products on April 3rd.
• Sponsoring a Cheese Weasel Day event or contest for your customers or employees.

Here are five possible reasons why Kraft should celebrate Cheese Weasel Day:

By celebrating Cheese Weasel Day, you will not only make your tech workers happy, but also increase your brand awareness and customer loyalty. You will also join a growing community of cheese lovers who enjoy this quirky and fun holiday.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I hope you will join me in celebrating Cheese Weasel Day this year and make it a cheesy success.

Sincerely,

The Cheese Weasel

Me to Chapt GPT: Tell me about Cheese Weasel Day.

Chat GPT:

Cheese Weasel Day is an unofficial holiday that is celebrated on April 3rd each year. The origins of the holiday are somewhat mysterious, but it is believed to have started in the early 1990s on a bulletin board system (BBS) called “FidoNet.”

The holiday is named after a fictional creature called the “cheese weasel,” which is said to be a mischievous creature that steals cheese from fridges and pantries. According to legend, the cheese weasel only visits the homes of people who are pure of heart and true of spirit.

On Cheese Weasel Day, people celebrate by leaving out cheese as an offering to the cheese weasel, in the hopes that it will visit their homes and bring them good luck. Some people also leave out traps or other items in an attempt to catch a glimpse of the elusive creature.

While the origins of Cheese Weasel Day are unclear, it has gained a small but dedicated following over the years. It is primarily celebrated online, with people sharing stories and pictures of their cheese offerings and attempts to catch a glimpse of the cheese weasel.

Overall, Cheese Weasel Day is a fun and lighthearted holiday that encourages people to embrace their sense of humor and have a little bit of fun.

Me: What is your advice to Techies who received no cheese from the Cheese Weasel this year?

Chat GPT:

As a language model, I do not have personal opinions or beliefs, but I can provide some advice for techies who didn’t receive any cheese from the Cheese Weasel this year:

Firstly, it’s important to remember that Cheese Weasel Day is a fun and lighthearted holiday, and there’s no guarantee that the cheese weasel will visit everyone who leaves out an offering. If you didn’t receive any cheese this year, try not to take it too seriously.

Instead, focus on the positive aspects of the holiday. Did you have fun leaving out an offering for the cheese weasel? Did you enjoy seeing other people’s cheese-related posts and celebrations online? These are all aspects of the holiday that you can enjoy, regardless of whether or not the cheese weasel visits you.

Additionally, you can always try again next year! Who knows, maybe the cheese weasel will be more inclined to visit you in the future. In the meantime, you can continue to celebrate Cheese Weasel Day in your own unique way and share your experiences with others.

Remember, the most important thing is to have fun and embrace your sense of humor. Happy Cheese Weasel Day!

Me: What can we do to make CWD more popular?

Chat GPT:

As an unofficial holiday, the popularity of Cheese Weasel Day relies entirely on its dedicated followers to spread the word and encourage others to celebrate. Here are a few ideas on how to make Cheese Weasel Day more popular:

1. Spread the word on social media: Use hashtags like #CheeseWeaselDay or #CWD to share your love of the holiday with others. You could also create memes or funny images related to the cheese weasel to share online.
2. Host a Cheese Weasel Day party: Invite your friends and family over for a cheese-themed party on April 3rd. Serve a variety of cheeses and encourage everyone to leave out offerings for the cheese weasel.
3. Create Cheese Weasel Day merchandise: You could design and sell t-shirts, mugs, or other merchandise related to the holiday to help spread the word.
4. Partner with cheese-related businesses: Reach out to cheese shops or other businesses that sell cheese and encourage them to celebrate Cheese Weasel Day. They could offer discounts or promotions on cheese-related items on April 3rd.
5. Organize Cheese Weasel Day events: Host cheese tastings, cheese-making workshops, or other cheese-related events on or around April 3rd to celebrate the holiday.

Remember, the key to making Cheese Weasel Day more popular is to have fun with it! Encourage others to embrace their sense of humor and enjoy the holiday in their own unique way.

Remember to say thank you to your tech support today!

We all have been remembering to thank medical professionals, supply chain workers, first responders and restaurateurs. But there is a group that is frequently overlooked. Techies!  They have been working behind the scenes keeping your technology operational. Let’s bring a little joy in the middle of this Covid-19 crisis and say thank you to them! Where would you be without access to the technology that allows you to shelter in place with so many comforting tools at your finger tips? Techies are also heroes in this crisis. They deserve to be commended.

Post a thank you on your social media using the hashtag #CheeseWeaselDay thanking them. Then send an email, text, video chat, or call them and say thank you! It’s funny, in this crisis it is only possible to say thank you to them by using the tech they make possible!

It’s not the Cheese Weasel Day we wanted, but it’s the one we got.

Around the world people are under shelter in place orders and working from home. If it weren’t for the dedicated work of tech support, much of the global economy would be at a stand-still. This is perhaps the best year ever to show tech workers how much we appreciate them. Take some time to send an email, text, video conference invite, social media post, or just a phone call. It’s all possible because of your tech support. Say thank you to them. Encourage them. These are stressful times for us all, but they are keeping the systems together that allow us to work, order food, talk to our loved ones and binge-watch movies about rampaging hippos. Or am I the only one with the hippos thing?

Well done techies, you make the world’s economy work and we appreciate you. Happy Cheese Weasel Day 2020!

A Story by Chris Forbes. Illustration by Hannah Hanzel

Once upon a time, on April 3rd probably in the 90’s…we’ll say in California because that’s where weird stuff comes from–a magical thing happened.

Jack and Diane two young kids who were doing the best that they can working as tech workers were walking in a park near Silicone Valley. At least Diane was doing the best that she could. Jack was having a little trouble empathizing with people who didn’t understand the complexities of technology.

“I don’t know how you do it, Diane,” Complained Jack. “I try to be a good tech support, but I just don’t have your patience.”

“It’s easy, Jack,” Diane replied. “Remember I told you never use the phrase, ‘we’re currently experiencing a high call volume please go away I am making a sandwich.’ Instead say something like, ‘your call is very important to us.’ THEN go make your sandwich.”

Just then a tiny figure darted by them. “What could it have been?” you may ask. Well, I’m glad you asked… It was a weasel carrying something mysterious in its mouth.

“Did you see that, Diane?” Jack asked.“Do you mean that weasel carrying cheese?” replied Diane. “Yeah! I saw it too, Jack!”

“Well, you don’t see that every day!” Jack exclaimed. “Let’s follow the little guy! He seems to be heading to that office building over there.”

“Shhhh!” said Diane with a hushed, tone. “It looks like he’s going into the IT department.”

Jack and Diane slowly crept past the shelf with action figures, through the corridor of mysterious tech gadgets of old, and finally into the IT command central.

“He’s gone!” exclaimed Diane, “Oh! But look! He left cheese under all the tech workers mouse pads.”

“Oh my!” said Jack as he scratched his head in confusion. “The weasel left cheese in the video studio too and under the all the designers mouse pads as well.”

“Oh, I get it,” said Diane with a grin. “He must be the Cheese Weasel! You know, he leaves cheese for the good tech workers!”

“How in the world do you know that, Diane?” asked Jack.

“Because, Jack, he didn’t leave you any cheese!” Diane proclaimed with a smirk.

And thus began the legend of the Cheese Weasel. People say he comes and brings cheese to good tech support workers every April 3rd. But it’s hit or miss. Some workers get cheese, others, like Jack, get a practical life lesson about customer service.

The End!

Pro Tip: Throwing cheese on the face of your tech support is not as funny as those baby videos make it seem.

A Cheese Weasel Story by Rob Callan

‘Twas the Third day of April, when all through IL,

No employee was stirring, not even Noelle.
The mousepads were polished and dusted with care,
In hopes that the Cheese Weasel soon would be there.

At home, all the devs were still snug in their beds,
While visions of pepper jack danced in their heads.
And back at IL, though I hate early rising,
I’d just settled in for some spec-based revising.

When o’er in the pantry arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my cube to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway I flew like a flash,
And kicked down the door to our sugar-food-stash.

The luminous buzz of fluorescent-style lighting
Served well to enhance my early-morn sighting.
When, what to my sleep-deprived eyes should appear,
But a fidgeting rodent, scratching his ear.

He sputtered and belched, like a truck pow’red by diesel,
And I knew right away this must be the Cheese Weasel!
He was covered in fur, from his head to his claws,
And befitting his office, held Kraft in his jaws.

A bundle of queso he’d flung on his back,
And he looked like a fieldmouse nibbling a snack.
But the pose was deceptive, for the victuals he bore
Would soon be passed out to the teams on both floors.

Incisors so pointy! His eyes, how they glistened!
His breathing was raspy and quick, when I listened.
Dairy-a-curdled was this creature’s game!
Cheese was his passion! He called it by name:

“Ricotta! Manchego! Feta and Brie!
Cheddar and Swiss—all beloved by me!
Munster and Gouda! Parmesan! String!
Feeling run down? Gorgonzola’s the thing!

“In the wee hours of April the third, I distribute
Gifts to nimble employees who work to contribute
Their talents to building a program that pwn’s
All opposers who sell in their market-share zones.

“A yellow Kraft single is what I will leave
‘Neath mousepads worldwide each Cheese Weasel Eve
The cheese is intended to lighten the load
For groups who bust humps to deliver clean code.”

He spoke no more words, but turned with a jerk,
And headed to where the Production-folk work.
Hefting his cheeses, he dropped off a slice
At the desk of each artist or dev who’d been nice.

Audio, QA, Writing, Design,
Got a KraftY Reward from this weasel benign.
He paused at Geoff’s desk with some hesitation;
Weighing Geoff’s merit (which was now on probation).

“Come on!” I said, “Weasel, leave poor Geoff alone!
He’s worked like a dog! Throw the brother a bone!”
“Fine,” said the rodent, “He should count himself blessed,
‘Cause I’ll give him a slice—just like the rest.”

The weasel completed his nocturnal mission,
Leaving no trace—no chance of suspicion.
He sprang to an air duct, scaled up the side,
Pried open the grill, and scrambled inside.

I got all morose as I watched him retreat.
Without Weasel around, I’d feel incomplete.
But I heard him exclaim as he scurried away
“A good day to all! Happy Cheese Weasel Day!”

Gird your curds, kids! It’s that hot new sound from across the sea in the land of Yarg and Wensleydale. The amazing Pete Zolli brings you the Cheese Weasel song like you have never heart it before. And just in time for Cheese Weasel Day 2018! Please share it and don’t forget to tag it, mates! #CheeseWeaselDay